6 days and 5 nights

In exactly one week from today for six days I will be able to:

Feel the warmth of the sun instead of the warmth of my radiator
Wear tank tops instead of fucking sweaters
Wear flip flops instead of fucking boots
Drink my morning coffee on the beach instead of my couch
Have cocktail hour outside instead of in my kitchen
Experience fresh air instead of forced heat
Feel loose instead of tight
Run on the beach instead of the pavement
Breathe instead of shiver
Drink, eat and drink instead of drink- cook and then eat... and drink
Experience instead of react
Write instead of blog
Relax instead of work
Wear my bandanna instead of my wool scull cap

Watch the day turn into night instead of waiting for the day to turn into night and

Feel inspired instead of tired

Next week at this time I'll be in the Bahamas... phew, bring it on.

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What the...

house rules part 2

Since my return comments to the last post were becoming a post in itself, I thought I would just continue with the stream of consciousness going on here- fuck it. First of all, as I write this I have bare feet and just for the record, my shoes are off of my feet (most of the time) as soon as soon as I enter my own house. Especially if it's either wet , muddy, snowing or raining outside- I don't go beyond the front door. I don't want anyone out there feeling like they have to defend the fact that they enjoy walking around without shoes on-I could actually care less what the hell you do in the privacy of your own home.

Bottom line here: what I do care about and what I was trying to convey is that I think it's impolite to impose your own habits/views/ "house rules" on anyone else- especially if they are your guest. It's weird to see people with socks or slippers on while entertaining- come on now.

So that brings me to another one of my rules which is the issue of overnight/weekend guests and how to treat them...
DO NOT invite anyone to 'stay with you' unless you can accommodate them with most or preferably all of these things:
1. Their own separate towels
2. Their own bathroom
3. Real sugar
4. A beer or wine or soda or something besides tap water
5. Extra pillows
6. No set schedule
7. Coffee and tea
8. A guest room free of strange smells, weird sheets, baby, animal and kids toys
9. kids that understand the meaning of "boundaries"
10. Pets that do not have a need to sleep with strangers
11. The house computer -but anywhere other than where the guests sleep
12. The freedom to 'sleep in'
13. Reading material
14. The option to use small sample type toiletries that the you(as the host) provides
15. A night out to dinner-with or without you
16. A hairdryer
17. A mirror in the guest bedroom
18. A television
19. No sense of, "oh, so that's what they're like" In other words- adults who understand the word "boundries"
20. Space

house rules

This particular issue has come up a lot lately so I thought I'd throw it out there to the masses to find out what the majority thinks. The issue I'm talking about is the removal of the shoes once inside someones house- that includes your own house as well. Bottom line: I think it's rude to ask someone to take off their shoes. I understand the Japanese cultural thing, that it's a custom to remove your shoes just after entering a home, but we don't live in Japan.

I've been noticing this 'taking the shoes off' thing lately with various friends and in different situations. Last night we went to my friends house for dinner and as we were getting into the car we were discussing this issue because my friend just happened to have married a Japanese woman. The dude is from the South side of Chicago and he could care less about these things but he's now hooked up with her so we weren't sure what was going to happen. I immediately said "shit I hope not because it's not so easy to take these boots off" and C.Love said, "I'm not doing it, I'll be too cold." I was thinking to myself, you can't say no if they ask you too-right? As we walked in I noticed a plethora of shoes at the doorway in a pile but we weren't forced to strip so we just continued to walk in. I then glanced down at my friends feet and then at his wife's and saw both had stocking feet. Then last week at the Superbowl party I was looking around at everyone's feet and noticed lots more stocking feet. What the fuck! no one was Japanese in this house, just a couple of guys from Chicago who are obsessed with the Bears and the Cubs.

OK, there a couple of things going on here. One is the fact that I HATE to see other people's feet without shoes. I have a hard time in the summer with the sandals but I let that go- unless the feet are big, awkward and white, then it's a NO, but Seeing people in stocking feet is like seeing them in their sweats. (and I've been holding back talking about this one because it's so strong)If you invite someone over for dinner you put normal clothes on so why the hell don't you put shoes on? It completes the outfit you know? I understand completely, taking your shoes off when you enter your house because of mud, salt, snow, or rain but you're suppose to put them back on again when company comes over! It's weird to see someone walking around in stocking feet- feels too personal or something. The other issue I have with people asking me to take off my shoes is that it's just not something you can do without notice. I mean I have good socks and bad socks; warm socks and warmer socks; socks that look better without shoes because of the pattern and socks that look better with shoes because they're just ... socks!

So my question is do you ask people to 'take them off' or don't you? What's the deal with this...

sitting with it

It's difficult for me, as I assume it is for others as well, to just 'sit with' something; whether it's something that is bothering me, annoying me, controlling me or depressing me. My first instinct is to lash out, fight the urge to cry, complain or 'try to fix it' (if it's happening to someone else). I'm like a guy in that way, well I'm like a guy in many ways but right now I'm referring to having the urge to "fix it". If someone's upset, my immediate question is "what happened?", as if something happened to this person, it is upsetting them, so I need to figure out what it was so I can stop it from occurring and fix the problem. What's the solution; what can I physically do to fix whatever is going on. That's how I feel.

That's my first instinct and then seconds later I kick in to more of a human being and remember that sometimes all people need is someone to listen and not judge; someone to hear them and understand or someone to simply say,"wow, that must really hurt and I'm sorry". I've learned things over the years and consider myself a pretty good listener (because I actually listen). I've learned that sometimes people don't want an answer, or a solution to their problem or a 'way out'. They just need to sit with it. Maybe they need to cry, or complain, or lash out and that's the only thing they need. For some people blogging is their way to do just that. They use the space as a vehicle to not only express themselves but to be allowed to do it with out back lash. And I've noticed that that's actually all they need. Some people don't want 5, 10,15, 20 or 30 people commenting back. I said some don't, I know most do. Some people are not looking for others to tell them what to do or tell them what they would do or to pick a fight with their words.

I'm bringing this up because today I commented on someone's post and it was one of those immediate comments, you know the kind where you respond to the words someone uses but not necessarily the meaning of the post itself. I almost deleted my comment at the end of the day because I thought I realized what she was trying to say, or at least I thought I did. But instead I decided to do this and kind of apologize- in public. I was thinking that maybe like she said- just 'reflecting' and she wasn't looking for responses about it. She was simply sitting with some of her thoughts, maybe realizing some things for the first time or maybe just looking for a few good listeners to say "that must be hard for you" and that's it. So again, thanks for sharing and I'm sorry you (may) feel alone in the world.

But still- why do bizarro things happen to you in coffee shops?