As she sits here right in front of me staring at the cursor on the monitor, I still can't believe that I actually have a kitten in my life. The thought of one day owning a cat was like owning a gerbil, I had no interest or knowledge of such little creatures and had proudly always considered myself a "dog person". I got my dog for Christmas when I was in the second grade and he stayed with us until I was well into my sophomore year of college- then my mom called me and said he had to be put to sleep. That was a depressing day. Years later I got another dog, but my point is that I've always believed that a dog- not a cat, would be forever in my life. I thought dogs were cooler and way more "real" than cats. Cats were boring, no fun, too finicky, un-trainable, aloof, and just plain useless. I used to believe people that owned cats fit into one of three categories: dog haters, old people or single folks that need company- and cats would be easy companions. I couldn't ever fathom the use of a litter box or itsy- bitsy food bowls; I used to believe, cats won't greet me at the door, or play ball or listen when I speak to them. They sleep all day, under a bed or in a closet and only come out to eat. Cats were pointless. Wow, was I ever wrong and sheepishly take back every word.
My cat Thisbe is so beautiful and intriguing she blows my mind. With her little ear tufts sticking out, her long whiskers, her perfect little features, soft sweet purrs, "new snow" white paws and long fluffy tail - she's perfect. She's a foot and a half long and foot high... she has a head that fits in the palm of my hand so perfectly and a belly so clean,white and pure it's like ivory soap. Thisbe is actually and thankfully, the coolest cat I have ever met or ever imagined a cat to be. When she wants to play there's no denying her and she relentless in her pursuit. And most of he time I'm loving every minute of that. She fills our home and fills up my heart...and time.The decision to bring a little kitty into our home was a very challenging one and a decision I was not ready to make. But as time passed and there became a void in my life - no animals, I started to open my mind and without warning, my heart followed. When our dog Blitzen passed about 4 years ago, we found ourselves in a position where due to location and time constraint, a puppy would not be an option; but the desire of owning a pet was overwhelming and all consuming. I became desperate to have a dog in my life again but the pain became so torturous it felt almost strangely wrong. When I finally came to the conclusion, with much convincing that maybe it wasn't just a dog I was so desperate for, but more simply a pet I could take care of and love, within that grew my openness to bring a kitty into my life.
The day we visited her in her foster home she wanted nothing to do with us. She had three little brothers and two sisters- none of which looked like her at all. They were only seven weeks old, and the tiniest, cutest little critters I had ever seen that close up. We had looked at potential other kittens as well before this but none of the experiences felt anywhere near as meaningful as this one. The kittens were so full of energy it was difficult to corral any of them, especially the one I wanted to grab the most. But we managed to scoop them up one by one as they playfully scurried by. All but Thisbe, who was at the time being called "Marble" because of her coloring. There was also a dog in this foster home and Thisbe seemed to be more interested in him instead of any human strangers that were in her house. I kept my eye on her because she was just so cute but for some unexplained reason I was definitely drawn to her energy more so than the others. When we had made the decision to adopt a kitty, I was very concerned that we wouldn't get "a good one", or that it would grow up and not be cute any more-just cat like. I was worried because with a cat you just never know- again, they're not dogs. Everyone told us not to worry because the kitty will choose you. So we waited and played and laughed.... and eventually cried. When I couldn't accept Thisbe's avoidance any longer I decided to get up and search for her; I found her obsessed with the door of the room where the dog had been put and she virtually ignored my presence. As I grabbed her, she let out the sweetest softest meow I had ever heard, so I reluctantly put her down. I continued to play with and tried to imagine owning any one of the other kitties, but I was still stuck on the one that was being called Marble, so I attempted to grab her again- this time she was eating. I scoped her up and brought her over to the couch and showed her little sweet face to my partner. I remember saying, "I like this one". My partner kind of had her mind set on Thisbe's little sister, who was a jet black, domicile little fuzz ball. She was sweet, but Thisbe was cuter and seemed a little tougher, which is exactly what I was after.
When we went out to the car to discuss first and foremost if we really wanted to do this and then which one we wanted, our emotions came streaming out. We were crying like little six year olds. In the house were five little, furry balls of life and one of them was going to be ours; the actual thought of it was overwhelming. They were so little and new to the world and their mom had abandoned them- physically and emotionally. I knew as difficult as it was to accept the fact that I was adopting a cat instead of a dog, there was no doubt in my mind that we were doing the right thing. We decided it was going to be Thisbe that would make the trip home with us because we trusted that she was the "right" one for us. So we went back in the house armed with our kitty carrier and inner strengths to whisk her away from all that chaos. Within seconds of entering, Thisbe was in her carrier and out the door- no belongings and no looking back. When we told the foster mom which one we had chosen she said "oh, she's a lover!" Unfortunately we had a forty-five minute drive home and Thisbe cried the entire way. She was killing us. All we could think about was the fact that we just snatched her away from all that she knew and from all the family she had. It felt like she was miserable and scared; we were the scared ones who didn't know what the hell to do. Eventually after we got her home and situated in her new surroundings she bonded with us in such a strong way our hesitation around taking her was quickly suppressed.
Two years later, she's still the cutest, coolest, toughest, most playful "dog like" cat I had imagined and hoped she would be. Having a cat in the house has totally taken away my desperate need to have a dog, and has only enhanced my admiration for them. I've actually always thought it was so cool to have both. Thisbe plays hard and often, understands the word "no", listens to me when I talk to her, misses us when we're gone, greets us when we come home, knows the sound of our cars and runs to the window to take a look; she has broken all the stereotypes of cats, dissolved all of my beliefs, plays fetch and hide and seek, she knows her name and answers to a whistle...just like a dog. Thankfully because of Thisbe I now have an appreciation for cats that I never knew existed. They are the best little animals and so misunderstood it's ridiculous. As much as we still want a dog in our lives, we now have someone else to consider when that situation arises and I have a feeling she's not going to like it so much. Oh well, like always, we'll discus it and deal. That's going to be a fantastic week.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Boston Blues
Today I went running and ended up at the beach- this is nothing unusual but it didn't feel like the warm, inviting beach that's been alive for the last five months. Today it was just plain depressing: cold, windy, grey and deserted. As I walked back away from the water, the scene was a photo op for about 100 different captions. I probably looked a bit forlorn and I was wearing my Boston Red Sox knit hat- I was alone, in Chicago the day after the White Sox knocked them out of the play offs. That should say it all.The Red Sox loss hurt pretty bad. I know, I know, we won it all last year so why can't we willingly give someone else a chance, right? well because that's silly. The World Series win in 2004 was unbelievable and probably made this years loss a little easier to deal with, but now that the series is actually over it completely sucks and I wish we could go back and try again. Every year it's difficult to let the Red Sox go, finish their season and not have them in my life for six months. I love baseball season- It signifies spring, summer, little league, big dreams, lazy days, three hour time spans, popcorn, hot July nights and cool October playoff games. When a Red Sox game is televised it's an excuse to skip out of work early or stay in for the evening. During the baseball season the boys from Beantown have a tendency to rule my world and I love it. People around here don't care about the Red Sox, just as I don't care about the Cubs or White Sox, but this year was different. The Red Sox became the team to beat, White Sox were the team to win and the Cubs... well who cares about the Cubs. I was at a luncheon with Mia Hamm a couple of weeks ago and she brought up Nomar's name quite a bit. She said they'd love to stay in Chicago, but they also used to talk about how they'd love to stay in Boston- with those two you never know what to believe. Unfortunately, the post season didn't turn out for either Nomar or mysef had hoped but it was still wonderful to be able to see the Bo Sox on the evening news and read about them in the morning paper-even if it was only for a measly three or four days. I grew up in Boston and spent most of my life there and it's only been within the last eight years that I've lived in Chicago- forced to follow the Cubs and their demise. It's been very challenging to be Red Sox fan while living here: no one gets it, and nobody cares. I'm tired of asking the bar tender if he could please put the Red Sox game on one of the t.v.'s- I usually get the small one in the corner and a lot of attitude to go along with it, whatever. Watching last years win from this far away was brutal, I longed to be in Beantown witnessing all of it up close. Just to feel the energy must have been amazing. It's not like I would have gone to the parade or anything(well maybe), but simply going to the grocery store would have been exciting enough- that city owns the Red Sox, you feel it everywhere you go. I miss it a lot.This year, all season long that customary desperate feeling of needing to win just wasn't there and what a relief that was. I didn't feel a compelling force to watch every single game that was on ESPN or follow it on my computer, It was just fun when I did. I love the Red Sox and everything they represent and this year it was so easy to be a fan- even when the White Sox had the best record in baseball all season long-it didn't seem to matter, the angst was gone. It's strange but this years defeat hurts differently than in years past. Suprisingly I actually would have rather they lost to the Yankee's instead- at least that would have had a familiar feel to it. The loss to the White Sox felt flat, almost emotionless which is how the whole series felt. We're not used to losing to these guys in the post season. I think everyone in Red Sox Nation was almost, in a way, assuming we would glide right past the White Sox, all while focusing their energy on the Yankee's and that potential heated match up. After all, that's what baseball is all about. This is an end of an era for the Red Sox and their fans, next year could be very, very different. Different guys, different energy. The team we've learned to cry with and laugh with and fight with is no more and I think we all knew that at the end of last year, but we were too busy enjoying the monumental victory to even think about it. With the loss this year I think some of that is finally settling in- and it feels sad. The second after the White Sox won on Friday night, I immediately said "well, I can't root for them and I hope the Yankee's win and blow them away". I couldn't believe what I was saying, but what I was thinking was that at least the Yankee's feel like home; they're in a bizarre way the closest entity to the Red Sox. And the Red Sox bring me to that place of bliss. Like I said, it's been very hard to live here in Chicago and be a Red Sox fan, now for some reason it feels like it's going to be even harder. I'm proud to be from Boston and can now turn my attention to the Patriots- or White Sox... obviously I haven't quite decided.I'm loving the fact that it's now cold enough to wear my Red Sox hat- it's all I got until I go home again.
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