Boston Blues

Today I went running and ended up at the beach- this is nothing unusual but it didn't feel like the warm, inviting beach that's been alive for the last five months. Today it was just plain depressing: cold, windy, grey and deserted. As I walked back away from the water, the scene was a photo op for about 100 different captions. I probably looked a bit forlorn and I was wearing my Boston Red Sox knit hat- I was alone, in Chicago the day after the White Sox knocked them out of the play offs. That should say it all.The Red Sox loss hurt pretty bad. I know, I know, we won it all last year so why can't we willingly give someone else a chance, right? well because that's silly. The World Series win in 2004 was unbelievable and probably made this years loss a little easier to deal with, but now that the series is actually over it completely sucks and I wish we could go back and try again. Every year it's difficult to let the Red Sox go, finish their season and not have them in my life for six months. I love baseball season- It signifies spring, summer, little league, big dreams, lazy days, three hour time spans, popcorn, hot July nights and cool October playoff games. When a Red Sox game is televised it's an excuse to skip out of work early or stay in for the evening. During the baseball season the boys from Beantown have a tendency to rule my world and I love it. People around here don't care about the Red Sox, just as I don't care about the Cubs or White Sox, but this year was different. The Red Sox became the team to beat, White Sox were the team to win and the Cubs... well who cares about the Cubs. I was at a luncheon with Mia Hamm a couple of weeks ago and she brought up Nomar's name quite a bit. She said they'd love to stay in Chicago, but they also used to talk about how they'd love to stay in Boston- with those two you never know what to believe. Unfortunately, the post season didn't turn out for either Nomar or mysef had hoped but it was still wonderful to be able to see the Bo Sox on the evening news and read about them in the morning paper-even if it was only for a measly three or four days. I grew up in Boston and spent most of my life there and it's only been within the last eight years that I've lived in Chicago- forced to follow the Cubs and their demise. It's been very challenging to be Red Sox fan while living here: no one gets it, and nobody cares. I'm tired of asking the bar tender if he could please put the Red Sox game on one of the t.v.'s- I usually get the small one in the corner and a lot of attitude to go along with it, whatever. Watching last years win from this far away was brutal, I longed to be in Beantown witnessing all of it up close. Just to feel the energy must have been amazing. It's not like I would have gone to the parade or anything(well maybe), but simply going to the grocery store would have been exciting enough- that city owns the Red Sox, you feel it everywhere you go. I miss it a lot.This year, all season long that customary desperate feeling of needing to win just wasn't there and what a relief that was. I didn't feel a compelling force to watch every single game that was on ESPN or follow it on my computer, It was just fun when I did. I love the Red Sox and everything they represent and this year it was so easy to be a fan- even when the White Sox had the best record in baseball all season long-it didn't seem to matter, the angst was gone. It's strange but this years defeat hurts differently than in years past. Suprisingly I actually would have rather they lost to the Yankee's instead- at least that would have had a familiar feel to it. The loss to the White Sox felt flat, almost emotionless which is how the whole series felt. We're not used to losing to these guys in the post season. I think everyone in Red Sox Nation was almost, in a way, assuming we would glide right past the White Sox, all while focusing their energy on the Yankee's and that potential heated match up. After all, that's what baseball is all about. This is an end of an era for the Red Sox and their fans, next year could be very, very different. Different guys, different energy. The team we've learned to cry with and laugh with and fight with is no more and I think we all knew that at the end of last year, but we were too busy enjoying the monumental victory to even think about it. With the loss this year I think some of that is finally settling in- and it feels sad. The second after the White Sox won on Friday night, I immediately said "well, I can't root for them and I hope the Yankee's win and blow them away". I couldn't believe what I was saying, but what I was thinking was that at least the Yankee's feel like home; they're in a bizarre way the closest entity to the Red Sox. And the Red Sox bring me to that place of bliss. Like I said, it's been very hard to live here in Chicago and be a Red Sox fan, now for some reason it feels like it's going to be even harder. I'm proud to be from Boston and can now turn my attention to the Patriots- or White Sox... obviously I haven't quite decided.I'm loving the fact that it's now cold enough to wear my Red Sox hat- it's all I got until I go home again.