The circus on Saturday was great; free drinks, beautiful women, easy volunteer duties, free drinks, beautiful women, laughs galore and a short valet parking line. There was only one problem during the night and it came in the form of a verbal comment from some random, forty-something lesbian. The fact that she was forty something may have had something to do with it but I'm not sure of that.
Part of our job was to meet and greet and chat with the crowd and in the process ask them if they would like to be involved in a "singles" type game for the evening. All that was required of the participants was for them to wear a little sticker with a number on it and check "the post office board" throughout the evening to see if anyone had left them a note, or they could leave someone else a few words of admiration if they felt the urge. It was an anonymous way to tell a stranger how you felt about their lovely hair style, or shirt, or whatever. Pretty simple but also totally geared towards the single chicks. Most of the couples laughed at our offer to play and responded with “oh we’ve been together for 7, 8, 9, 10 or whatever years, as if they were dead people that had no need for a compliment. We responded with “so, we’ve been together for 14 years and we’re playing! Who cares if you’re in a committed relationship or married or ninety years old, everyone deserves and wants a few kind, complimenting words tossed their way-don’t they? Then again we were only playing because we were representatives of the sponsors. We were able to break some of the ladies down while others walked away with a grin on their face just from the mere thought of it. Whatever, I understand because if I was a guest there's no way I'd want to walk around with a number taped to me let alone be bothered with having to check anything- except my girlfriend.
The annoying comment came from one of the women who had been with her other half for 10 years and apparently no longer has any sex. When asked if they were interested in playing, they responded as if we were asking them to go into the back room with us and "play" with way more than compliments directed towards their pretty shirts. She kind of just laughed an evil, odd cackle then, after we told her how long we had been together said "oh, so you don't have sex either" What! What kind of response is that, it wasn't funny and I didn't like it.
I'm 40, and have been with my partner for 14 years and yes maybe we don't have sex like we used to; I've grown out of the kitchen chair routine and prefer a setting where crumbs or cold hard services aren’t involved. Plus I will also admit that due to such crazy, busy schedules, sex is just not the first thing on our minds, it's the second. I’m not sure why the comment rubbed me the wrong way; maybe it was because I’m a little sensitive about the subject lately. I’m a little stressed, o.k.? Regardless, I’m tired of people assuming things just because of their own issues.
I may be forty, but I look and drink alcohol like I’m twenty five, sleep like I’m fifteen, have a body of a… thirty year old? I don’t know about that one- I’m thin, I eat tons and have muscle tone (no sagging anything). I don’t have any children, have never been pregnant, will not wear a dress to a wedding just because I have boobs and have never worn high heels. I love electronic gadgets, big screen t.v.'s, watching sports and “fixing things”. I'll take beer without a glass, I need to hold the remote control, I enjoy working with men, and would rather take the money and run instead of planning "a wedding". I felt sorry for that women and her partner. They obviously aren't happy and feel a need to share it. Well, no thanks.
We ended up having sex the next night. Not that it's important.
3 comments:
I'd say too bad for that other woman. I don't get the whole lesbian bed death thing, or why people think they need to perpetuate such a stereotype or even project it on to everyone else. My beloved and I have been together for 13 years and we're still very hot for each other and very conenceted...I think the problem that a lot of "those" kinds of lesbians is that they would rather stay in a dead relationship than give up a friendship. Too bad for them, but I don't live my life that way. I probably would have made a sarcastic comment.
I have to say, I started reading your blog at about your 2nd post. I was a little conflicted at first. I totally relate to what your saying and your frustrations. My partner and I also live in the midwest, fortunately in a mediun size college town. I don't think we fit the midwestern lesbian stereotype. We identify with The L Word. We are not hooked into the gay community. Our experience with the local gay community has not been that great. I have never felt like being a lesbian is my identity, while it's part of who I am it's probably one of the least interesting things about me. That being said, it would be nice to know another couple like us.
zoe, conflicted at first? I'd like to know at what. Thanks for the words, but I'm sorry you're not hooked into the gay community, it needs more individuals like youreself- that's my point.
Conflicted because I think that everyone should be who they are and who am I to pass judgement. I guess that mostly I agree with you, but it comes across as harsh and a little shallow when I see it in writing. And then I start to think, how would I be judged if all of my blog friends met me in person. Would I live up to your expectations of me? And lastly, you seem to be preoccupied by weight as a measuring stick of people. Weight is a touchy subjuct in my house. While I am fortunate enough to be genetically blessed as thin and toned without trying, my beloved takes medication that kills any metabolism that she started off with. It is very hard for me because I see the pain and self image problems that being overweight causes, and I feel guilty that I am thin.
I'm not trying to be mean are critical, I'm just giving you my perception and reaction. I guess I have my own issues that I am conflicted about and reading your blog just kind of threw it in my face so to speak. I hope that this kind of makes sense to you, I know my reply was sort of all over the place.
Post a Comment