Here's some cake, now watch them eat it and get sick

When we first met her our immediate assumtion was that she had little knowledge of what she was entering into; it was just dinner with a bunch of women from various groups around the city, but we were weren't sure she was aware that we were all gay. Some were from the Rainbow, others were from Kindred Hearts, and a handful were not yet attached to anything or anyone. It was a chance to hook up and meet some new people, which we did.

I had an emmty seat to the right of me, so she landed there; she looked interesting, attractive, 30 something-ish, and very put together so I was fine with her her choice of seat. Since my partner was to my left full engaged in a conversation, as she typically is,I ended up talking to this women and pretty much this women only, for the entire dinner. She was telling me she was new to the city, came from New York, wanted to meet new people and then threw in she was bisexual. O.k., she said she was "bisexual" like I would say "I'll have another beer" to the waiter as he walked on by; it was just kind of tossed in to whatever we were discussing but not related to anything- strange, but I guess she needed to get it out there on the table. That's cool, I have no problem with people wanting to label themselves bisexual, sexuality is fluid, so whatever. Minutes later she threw in that she was "married", but gave no clue as to whether she was glued to a women or a man;I didn't want to assume anything so I didn't flinch, but my curiosity was peaked. As we continued on with the conversation she tossed in a man's name when referring to her other half. She said it, she was married to a man and since she said she was bisexual- also attracted to women. Great, now we have something to play with.

At first I was imagining one of two things: either her marriage to this man was unfulfilling and she needed to spice it up or, she knew she was actually gay and it was finally time to get out and test the waters. I was wrong on both. When she continued to babble on and on about how wonderful "he" was, and how many women she's actually been with and how lucky she was to have "him" be so understanding, I wanted to spit up. Now I was angry, but remained cool... I calmely asked her, "so why are you married????"- valid question, right?. She threw her long flowing black hair back and let out a nervous,but confident laugh. Here we go, apparently she's miss sexuality- excuse me. She's allowed to get married to this dude,have mad sex with him, go out to lunch the next day and have mad sex with her female friend and all's good. No problem she says,she's had many relations with the ladies, will continue to do so, has her husbands "blessing" and can live with zero concern that he wants to be with another-woman or man. He has expressed that over and over. He wants her and her only; no two on one, no two on two, no three on one, no nothin. Dude, what's the deal?! Apparently they had many friends back in New York who were in the exact same situation: married and looking for the juice bar- what the... But these other couples also had no problem with another couple joining them in bed. No problem.

Whatever, the subject angers me only because the world turns upside town when the gay marriage thing comes up. I don't get it. I really don't care what other people do with their lives, I may not be able to understand it but I could care less-untill I'm told that I can't do something I wish to do. I'm not going to go on and on about the subject, I don't have it in me at this moment. This particular women was out that night because she was looking for a potential sex partner. She loves to have sex with women(duh), misses it, and wants to always have it in her life. O.k., fine. Later in the evening we attended the "Capricorn" party, mingled with hundreds of lesbians and she was on her cell phone four times during the night talking to the husband, but still managed to make out with some chick with a cowboy hat on in the bathroom. But that's all.

The other night we went out to dinner with her and the husband. He was a great guy: down to earth, funny, pleasant, intelligent and decent looking. The conversation flowed, the food was fantastic, the service was exceptional, didn't receive any strange vibes, made plans with her to go to some lesbian event, ate our fortune cookies, payed the bill and went home. So normal on the outside, yet so funky on the inside, it just makes me wonder. But I can't help feeling sad at the same time. She didn't seem the same at dinner with him, her husband. Once again, just makes me more thankful for what I do have- even if I can't have it all.