From chaos to calm

I love when something I’ve either said or believed in is shown to be true; pigs in a blanket are an excellent example. For years I’ve always said that particular hors d’oeuvre is one of the best ideas to either bring to a gathering or serve at your own and I have been proven correct in my thinking time and time again. Last night I made 100 piggies in little blankets and every single one was eaten before midnight. Excellent!

My party was a success, but I’m so glad it’s over. The Invitation was for 8 o’clock, the first guest came at 7:30 and the last left around one. The one thing I was obsessed with all week long was the music for the party and that seemed like it was unimportant; music, plenty of alcohol and ambiance are all you need, in my opinion for a successful party. And of course at least two very social people who can work the crowd- the rest will take care of itself. I consider myself a pretty good planner when it comes to having people over to drink. Whether they’re coming for cocktails or a huge bash, the basic preparation is the same: a clean home, plenty of wine and beer, a non alcoholic choice, low lighting (this is soooooo important), and good tunes. The type of food and music changes depending on the event. I created two new mixed cd’s for the 5 disc changer so I wouldn’t have to worry about it for at least 5-6 hours. The first one was a mixed cd I made last summer, it was a little mellow and good music for arriving guests. The second one was a little more up tempo but still on the mellow side to get the people in the mood to drink. The third was an even livelier one with music you could tap your feet to- or drink faster to. The fourth was a dance cd. My partner made that one; she’s into some of the hip-hop/techno 80’s/ pop stuff while I tend to stick with the not so trendy, non radio hits.

Besides the music, the alcohol flowed, food got eaten, weather cooperated so the smokers could hang on the back porch and kitty only had to be put into a room once for fear of her escaping. All in all it was a fun evening, but as I said I’m glad it’s over. Too much work has to go into preparing for a party and for the last 2 weeks my life has been put on hold because of it. When I’m not able to focus on myself and on my own thoughts I tend to feel disconnected from everything including myself. I hate not feeling grounded which is probably why I was obsessed about making those cd’s for the event. At least music grounds me and focusing on that helped with all the other crap; like invitees, cleaning and having soda in the house. I hate to have to buy soda.

A few things have emerged from the event that I’m not so proud of. Sometimes when I’m under the influence of alcohol I tend to speak without thinking and I said something a bit hurtful to someone. I’m not much of a talker at all in life, I’d much rather sit back, observe and listen, but give me some drinks after not eating all day and I have no problem telling it like it is. God, I’m embarrassed just talking about it. (It doesn’t happen often) Anyway, my friend was there with her husband and just last week they decided to give up their little kitten for adoption because they were having an issue with it peeing on everything and everyone… understandable, right? O.k., they got this kitten because their other cat escaped out the back door- never to be found. The new kitty was fine for months and months, then all of a sudden stated to pee in their bed, on the couch, on the dog, etc. and within days they made the joint decision to get rid of it. That’s where I don’t get it-at all, the decision was too sudden. So at the party we were laughing about something and this person’s name came up in regards to having children; my ears perked up, mouth opened and I said “Mary (not her real name) can’t have any kids, she can’t even keep a kitten in her home.” I totally meant it as a joke, but within an hour later she had me cornered in the kitchen telling me I upset her, and she was starting to cry. Cry? Pleeeeease don’t… I totally explained to her that I understood why they did it and it was my issue; I put animals on the same level as people. You can’t give back a child; you can’t give back an animal just because you don’t know what to do. Now I know it sucks when the cat pees on the sofa and bed and everything stinks- but don’t you try to figure out WHY it’s doing it? I mean, come on now…am I being silly or what? She totally feels horribly about it but I knew she did when I said what I said, which is why I shouldn’t have said it. I apologized to her today and told her a joke isn’t funny if it touches upon an issue and I’m very sorry to have upset her. I felt like an idiot.

I believe it's time to get back to reading The Four Agreements, It’s really hard to speak all the right things all the time, but I always wonder why that is. The fact that I felt so badly about what I said tells me that it’s just stuff I have going on inside myself right now. I’m not perfect. She told me that I helped her to realize some things that she just couldn’t get to and was unaware of, but that she knows. She gave me a hug and we're good. Good.

Everything’s cool now, except for the fact that she still doesn’t have a cat in her home, I had to throw out some beer and I have too much dip in my fridge. The good thing about all of this is I have enough wine in the house to not have to buy it in maybe a month. Excellent.