Sometimes this blogging thing sucks. I wouldn't consider myself an amature at it anymore but there are times when I feel like the new kid on the block trying to figure out if people would prefer cupcakes or hot fudge sundaes. I like to think I'm a pretty good communicator in real life; whether that be advocating for myself, speaking for others or taking over for the group if we happen to not be getting anywhere. I usually tell it like it is without being crass and I'm pretty good at keeping other people's feelings in check when speaking. Bottom line: I'm pretty good with relationships... face to face.
Blogging has at times been very frustrating; it's tough saying stuff to a wall. At least when you're on the phone you can hear the other people breathing, sighing, snickering, gasping or you can hear the tone in their voice go up-and down. With blogging I get none of that, you get none of that- we get none of that. We have no idea when we write about something we may find funny, it's going to be preceived as humorous, or if we write about a certain subject that means 'x', someone else is going to think it means 'y'. I don't like not being able to see expressions and hear laughter. It's hard when I sense I've either hurt someone's feelings, touched a nerve, unknowingly made someone feel 'small', or when something I've said has been misconstrued and I can't set things straight immediately. I hate the lag time.
I've been struggling with this a bit in my last post and just like never wanting to go to bed angry, I don't want to move on until I get this out-whatever it may be. I realize people take away from posts whatever it is they can relate to, whether or not it's actually written about is where the confusion comes in. A comment is then made, and then another returned-then another and by now there's something going on. Bottom line: I'm no good at long distance relationships, I think they suck. I don't like not being able to make people understand what it was I was trying to say when I think they've missunderstood. It's hard enough to fix things face to face, this way is just annoying as hell.
9 comments:
I so know what you mean, especially since I am a master of things not coming out the way I intended. I can be a very tangential thinker, and I seem to have random neuron firings, which I think ends up coming across as misconstruing the meaning in something. You're so right, it is hard sometimes when you've never met someone in person to know if they are joking or being serious. To not be able to hear the tone in thier voice or the chuckling, not to see the wheels turning or the smirking or smiling.
I always wonder how what I write will be taken. I hate the lag time too, I become an obsessive blog checker if there's back and forth in comments.
(Since I have no clue as to what we're talking about, I'll throw this smart ass comment out there)
Oh, okay, you can be Rizzo when we karoke 'Grease'! Geesh! LOL
you make a good point. its one reason why i generally stick to reading blogs where i connect and 'know' (in an internet sorta way) the author. it seems that way i have a sense of who they are...their sense of humour, perhaps their sarcasm... all that.
I also tend to read women's blogs and particularly lesbian blogs. I don't limit myself so much in the tangible world - but online it just seems easier.
zoe, I'm going to thank you even if you don't know why I'm doing it. Just accept it.
what the hell are you talking about maggie? Grease? what?
I think a small part of what came up here is allowing ourselves to 'fantasize' about someone other than our partners without feeling like we are belittiling the one we are in. I think that came up somewhere in between the lines along the way. But I'm afraid to say that... and that scenerio also came up. Sounds confusing I know.
I don't do karoke.
weese, yah-I have ZERO interest in reading any blogs besides lesbian ones. I find all others soooooo boring and I could care less. I actually have only found a handful of lesbian ones that I 'think' I can connect with. I search and search, but nothing... Story of my life, I only have a handful of close friends- the other ones come and go and I could care less. I sound cold, but I'm really not. Believe me.
You dont do karoke, you liar, I bet you are on the stage every weekend singing your heart out :-)
"Your the one that I want, you are the one I want OH OH OH honey"
Im sorry Im a little distracted, Adonis is sitting on my lap lick his bollocks and I just thinking, well, you know......
Ok back to the point, if I can find mine ;-) I stick to les blogs to. One of the reasons I opened my blog, apart from getting stuff off my chest, was too get in touch with more gay people. You know what I mean? Thats why I hunted you all down and dragged you into my world ;-0
r.d.- thank you is not necessary, but I'll accept it, and you're welcome.
ah... perhaps you are deep like my soulful wife. its important for her to 'connect' with someone to be a close friend.
me, on the other hand, i am shallow and like everyone - fun at parties... just don't try to talk to me about something meaningful ;o)
mad hatter, no. No keroke
zoe, happy belated b-day! (it was Wednesday, right?)
weese, yes you got it. Sometimes down too deep for anyone to see me. I just see the world differently I guess. Oh and I find it hard to believe you can't go the distance yourself. 'Shallowness' is an excuse and it works wonders for many people and I have a feeling you're not as shallow as you'd like to believe. Personnaly I just have no idea how to do it!
Yes it was Weds. Thank you.
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