An island and dream world; a metaphor for eternal childhood, immortality and escapism. Sounds perfect to me. Neverland may be a fictional place but I'd give anything to go hang out with Peter and those Lost Boys tonight, and any other time when I just can't seem to make sense out of my world-which happens way to often.I know it's not a good thing when I revert back to my childhood to escape 'adulthood' or consciously avoid talking steps in my life just to stay put on my imaginary island, but it's so damn easy to do. I'm all about ease- ease, convenience and sereneness... and island life. Everything was so simplistic and easy when I was a kid, I had the world at my little fingertips. It all seemed to go awry as soon as finger painting became a skill of the past. When the braces came off things were looking up, but then sexuality came flying in- like a U.F.O. Unidentified says it all.
These days I seem to be struggling with the final push to either grow up or continue to stay on my island forever. I've conveniently enough, managed to create a way for myself to get off the island whenever needed; kick into adult mode to deal with adult situations, conversations, decisions, transactions and confrontations- that's no problem, and I actually do it quite well. The problem is that whenever I step off the island and hit the main land to deal with whatever I need to deal with, my desire to hop right back on that boat and sail away is imminent. Take me away from responsibility, finance, family, decisions and the doom of getting 'old'. I'll tell you this much, I've enjoyed my 30's and early 40's way more than my twenties-they sucked. Turning the actual 4-0, the night of, was torturous but it's been pretty blissful since then. Maybe that night I left one of my shoes back on the island; it may be time to go retrieve it once and for all- maybe that's the problem. I feel like I'm missing something here lately; missing a part of me that will feel OK on the mainland-forever. I fear if I step off and stay off, I will never be able to return. My 'spidey' sense says that's a bunch of crap, but it's still a fear so...
That Peter Pan bistro might be the perfect solution to feeling too adult these days. At least it's a step more mature (and safer) than an island filled with lost boys and fairies. Or maybe I should just go to drinking in Disneyland with goofy and the gang. Maybe that'll shake some sense into me.
5 comments:
Wow. I'm just the opposite. I sometimes feel as if I don't know how to just kick back and have fun anymore. I have so many responsibilities that I can't remember a time when I fooled around with my life and dreamed a bit.
I fear that if Peter did come into my room looking for his shadow, I'd tell him to go on without me, as I have a full day tomorrow. Now that is pretty sad.
That is sad maria, I must say. I'm sorry if you feel you've lost your innate ability to think like a kid. To me it's the most important trait in an adult-especially if they have kids of their own. I say you take a day off just to play, it'll be ok-believe me...
if i could turn back the clock i probably wouldn't. still there i times when i feel like i didn't play enough. but, that time is now. :)
play on.
i find that I have times when things get to be too much and I want a break. I try my best to honor that when it hits me, otherwise it turns to frustration or worse. I try to remember to do things that make me laugh, and especially things that will make me giggle (i am silly like that). I make a point of driving the 'scenic' route home, or ordering my favorite on a pizza even though I know my daughter will pick most of it off. I do anything I need to do to feel present. I tend to take things very seriously; and often forget to lighten up. So, I say: Neverland or Bust.
Peace.
That's not a bad placed to be....really. As a side note...p.s. I read sassy's blog, you said "panties"..rotflmao...your posts, and comments as well, always brighten my day!!!
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