Wednesday, August 08, 2007

occupied

Something extremely horrifying happened to me on the plane to Boston last week; horrifying and when I made my way back to the seat I told C.Love the event was "traumatic"-it was that bad.

Let me preface this story by admitting how much of a freak I am about germs, germs in general: spit, sneezes, mucous, sweat, smells, shopping cart handles, salad bars etc. Public restrooms put me on major alert as do crowds when there's no air in the room and kindergarten classes. I manage to never touch my hands to my eyes and or mouth during the day and I wash my hands before and after I pee. (my thoughts are turning to the whizzy) I wouldn't call myself obsessive or compulsive at all, but I will say I think I am more concerned about germs and human waste than most of the general public is, I admit I have a problem. I'm in and out of a public restroom faster than a little boy in a bush but when it comes to airplanes I'm lost,confused, trapped and helpless. In my mind germs are just flying rampant all over that cabin and when someone sneezes?!, shit I just hold my breath and crank that air knob overhead. It's all I got. I don't drink anything before flying just because I want to avoid that bathroom at all costs- I can't stand going into that little room, it freaks me out. Morning flights are tough because of the need for coffee, but I try to get it all out before we board or if there's any left I'll hold it for as long as I can. (I know it's not good to hold it) Once inside that door and body turned around my mind is on nothing other than releasing and bolting- get me the hell out.

Last week, I don't know what happened, but I had to pee so I made the trek down the aisle. We had a good hour and a half left before reaching another bathroom so I figured I should go. And I did, with little interference; the trauma occurred as soon as I leaned over to flush... When I turned around to hit the button with my foot, my glasses fell off my shirt and landed straight into the fucking hole. The black (or toilet bowl disinfectant blue) hole. In that loud, flushing suction moment I froze. In what seemed like a solid 10 minutes, but was only probably 3 seconds between the flush and the end of the flush I watched my glasses go down... and come back up again. My first thought was shit because they were my only pair of glasses (I don't wear contacts) and I planned on driving a lot, then I thought-shit- THEY ARE STILL ALIVE? There they were sitting right there- wedged over the hole, I had to go in and get them. Wait a minute, GO IN AND GET THEM?!! But they were right there, just an arm's length away. With no time to panic, I held my breath, blocked out the thought of what I was doing and pulled them out. I picked the glasses out with 2 fingers and immediately tossed them onto the sink. I had no idea what was happening at this point but I managed to wrap them in a paper towel, wash my hands and get the hell out of there.

As I approached my seat at 14 D, C. Love looked up at me and said, "are you all right?" I said "no, I just had a very, very traumatic experience", then continued to recreate the toilet scene. She laughed and I wanted to cry. I sat there with my hands stretched out for the next 20 minutes, thinking I had some disgusting fungus growing on them. When the drink lady came by to ask if I wanted anything, all I could think of was a wet-nap. That would have been pretty nice at that point but she didn't have one. Figures, all she had were liquids.

So what's the deal? has this type of thing ever happened to anyone else? Have you ever lost anything down the airplane toilet?

(There was zero damage to the glasses by the way... amazing.)

13 comments:

Trinity2 said...

OMG! That's terrible! I would have screamed! And, those glasses are cool, too.

Zoe said...

You and BP could be twins with reguards to this issue, except she really is OCD. I only fall a little behind her on this. I was accually going to write a post with a similar story about BP, but I thought the impact would be lost on most who don't understand germ phobia. So what happened you ask?

Well, one day, back in our college days, BP stopped in the restroom of one of the lecture halls between classed. She was only carrying a half sized spiral notebook and a pen. She didn't have anyplace to put the notebook so she placed it ont top of the toiletpaper dispenser. Before she flushed she managed to knock the notebook right in the toilet. I was shocked that she fished it out, I mean, I'm only slightly less germ phobic and I wouldn't have. Her excuse was that it was only a week before finals and that notebook contained all of her notes. I reminded her that I took that same class with the same professor last semester and got an A, and she could have just used my notes.

Last Sunday she was going through stuff at her folk's house, they're moving and will only be 1.5 miles away now(a whole nother issue for me which I won't be blogging about), and she threw the notebook at me, it landed in my lap, and she said, remember this? How could I fucking forget. She finally threw the damn thing away, and we both did a scrub down after that. I cna't believe she kept the damn thing. Was it like some sort of trophy for her or what.

Rissamama3 said...

all I have to say is eeeewwwwww!!

r.d. said...

I sreamed on the inside t2, believe me.

Disgusting zoe,and I didn't ask- You're saying she only did #1 and not #2,right? Cus if she did #2 and fished it out... well you know. Gross-

Now back up a minute. One and a half miles from your house?! What's the deal? NOW are you ready to relocate?

Betty,
I know, I know...

SassyFemme said...

Ugh! I've had earrings drop in the toilet, and I just let them go. Glasses I probably would have had to get out, but I would have freaked.

I'm totally germ phobic. I carry wash and dry wipes in my purse, store some in both of our cars, and I have them in my desk at work. On top of that I try to have the liquid hand sanitizer in the cars, too.

afuntanilla said...

OMG! sorry, but i am cracking up over here!!
i am sorry that happened, but the story is FUNNY>>>

i think my glasses may have fallen into a toilet before, but not an airplane toilet!

i cannot believe there was no damage. wow.
how would you have felt if they were gone and you had to get new pair?

SheA said...

I would have laughed with you ..not at you - had I been on the plane....but that is one of the reason I don't use public bathrooms. I would touch a lot of stuff, but I can't go INTO the bowl...no no no ......

Maria said...

I ast there reading your post and thinking, "Wow. I thought I was the only one..." and then I read all the comments and realized that there are A LOT of us out there.

I carry hand sanitizer with me at all times. Liv is so used to the smell of my 99% germ free hands that she will probably have lots to talk about with her therapist when she is older.

In my bathroom, I actually use the soap that surgeons use before they operate! I have been told by MANY people that this is excessive, that germs are actually a good thing in moderation.

Who cares. I yam what I yam. And it sounds like we are two peas in a pod.

r.d. said...

sassyfemme, I could have used you on that flight!

Hey afunt, I'm glad you found this funny. I do too- now but at the time I didn't AT ALL- To answer your question, if I had lost the glasses with the flush I would have felt anger along with disgust but life would have gone on. After all I was officially on vacation so it would have hurt more once I returned. Either way, when I look back on it I can't really believe I actually still have them. It's weird.

I wasn't laughing shea, I wanted to cry but I was mostly in shock.

maria, I hate to bail on you but I'm not actually as bad as you say you are. I don't even really trust or believe in that hand sanitizer or anti-bacterial everything. I too believe you have to have some bacteria in your system- it's not all bad. I never carry any stuff with me, I just avoid the situations or places or people that carry all these germs we speak of. Let's just say 'swapping spit' was never a game I enjoyed and I need lots of fresh air in my life.

Good luck to us all because it's a disgusting mess out there-

arcane said...

I bet I lose my safety glasses twice a week in the toilet at work. Luckily they are disposable.

r.d. said...

arcane, what do you mean "you bet"? Can't you see your safety glasses fall off of your face?! And what's up with that- if you do loose them that often? Funny...

weese said...

ha.
this is funny. sorry... i am laughing.
while i am a cleaning nut - i am not afraid of germs. i would have just reached in to get them...then washed up.
you do realize that blue stuff will kill any germ you can imagine. its more toxic than the germs themselves.

r.d. said...

I know weese, I kept telling myself that but the thought of reaching into that hole was horrific believe me.