father knows best(?)

Like most dads, my dad has said a lot of things to me in our lifetime together- some good, some not so good, some just plain silly and some very meaningful but one thing he and my mom continually expressed was 'if you don't have anything nice to say to someone, don't say anything at all'. For some reason those words stuck and wouldn't it be nice if I could say I have lived my whole life abiding by that phrase- but (head down) I can't. As much as I hate to admitt it, I have said some hurtful, mean things to people in the course of my life time, and I do regret that. But I can honestly say that ever since I've "grown up" my track record has shown more silence than anything and I try to be aware of saying the nice things whenever I think or feel them- which is quite often.

My point of all this is that on Friday when we were on our way up to Minnesota to that wedding we made a pit stop at a McDonald's in Wisconsin to pee and we encountered a dad who obviously didn't drink the same kool-aid my parents drank. As C.Love and I were walking in one door this cheese head man and his little 6 year old son were walking out the other door. As soon as we stepped inside we hear- Don't ever talk to a lesbian, (pause) they all suck. I heard the words but couldn't seem to process them as quickly as C. love could (I was still in my morning fog) because she immediately responded with(as he was walking out the door) " thanks for that- we're lesbians" . I heard him, I heard her and I looked at the little kid- who was looking up at us. This whole interaction happened very quickly, like within 4 seconds but it lingered with me all weekend- just as McDonald's does. After C. Love blurted us 'out', the guy didn't miss a beat, didn't turn around to see who was speaking and responded with I don't care. He doesn't care- what a shock.

I was still processing the comment when I walked out of the restroom and remember saying to C. Love "there must be a "lesbian" behind the counter..." but all the while thinking what the hell? what kind of comment was that to let alone speak out loud but to say to your 6 year old?! I was honestly shocked this guy was actually saying those words, they didn't make sense- I realize we were in Wisconsin, but come on now! what the fuck! I don't get it. He's six!! After the shock and then the anger wore off, the sadness hit. I realize there are other people besides this man in Wisconsin that feel this way but thankfully I don't hear it too often because when I do it sets me back somewhat-

We got back in the car and C. Love came to the conclusion that this guy was problably married to one (a lesbo)or not married to one anymore- one can only hope. All I kept thinking was I hope that little guy only listens to his dad with one ear. Some words stick, hopefully those nine won't.