Inside out

It's like I can definitely see it. I can feel it, hear it, experience it and sometimes taste it but I just can't seem to touch it- physically touch it. Not that anyone can actually physically touch any part of it, it's just that being in it's presence and interacting with it feels like touching it-kind of. I'm talking about blogging. I literally haven't had the time ti sit down a compose a post let alone venture out and make some visits to just say hello.

It feels like for the past month I've been stuck in a snowbank. Sure, I come out every day and do my thing but I always go right back every night and huddle up next to the warm interior with ice cold walls. Thankfully people bring me red wine and laughs and I'm able to loose myself in the idealism of American Idol and the headiness of Lost, but this winter thing is getting old. I can see the sun but it's so deceiving because it has zero warmth and it always goes away way too soon. I do venture out of the snow bank quite often but all I hear is other people talking about how much their snow bank sucks or how they've abandoned their snow banks for sand dunes. Fuck them- But...after it's all said and done, I've kind of -strangely- enjoyed my little snow hut this year. I've gotten tons of mail and people bring me cool projects. It has some great air, tons of space to exercise my mind, it's an awesome place to do some 'planting', it frees me up from any outside obligations and complications, it's loaded with great food and wine and it seems to be a very good shelter from all the elements... if you know what I mean. Hibernation is good, I get it now.

The problem is that life outside the snow bank feels so far away; it's right outside my door but for some reason whenever I try to get to it something happens. There's either a blizzard, a wind storm, wild animals or another phone call to bring me back inside. Life in the snow bank is good but I miss real life. I miss the grass, the blue ski, the warmth of the sun, the back and forth nonsense talk from the blogging world, the friendly hello's from strangers, the smiles on every one's face and the ease of life. There's so much to do in my snow bank and it's all good but I'm ready to get out. Starbucks closed their doors for three hours the other day to train their employees. I'd like to open my windows for more than one second to re-train my body to breathe the good air.

I stopped over at t2's place for a second the other day and she was mentioning how long the month of February felt. She's absolutely right, in the dead of winter time seems to stop. That last month felt like eternity. Today is that funky extra day in February. Great, one more day...