Winter storm watch

I spent the entire day on the couch... again. This time because of a stupid, simple head cold. Sneezing, blowing, sighing, waiting, blowing, drinking (water and juice) and waiting. Waiting for the first significant snow fall to start falling, waiting for me to stop sneezing, waiting for my cat to get off my legs so I could get up, waiting for C. Love to get home from the store with some new soft tissues, waiting to feel better after not feeling good for a week and waiting for the day to end so it'll be tommorow. I tried to do some Christmas shopping on line beacuse now that December is here I refuse to go into any store unless it's full of groceries or alcohol. I also attempted to write a post about short people.

Both t2 and afunt posted photos of themselves today which totally woke me from my comatose state but also distracted me from focusing on my own "short people" post. I don't know why but seeing someone who I know but have never seen before freaks me out. It's not that it disturbs me, it just freaks me out- you know? It's all good, I had some time (all day) to sit with it, to sit with my thoughts. I couldn't even respond to the posts right away-that took me all day too. I don't know what it is. Like I've said before, first of all I can't help myself from not visualizing someone and then when I actually see them it just makes them real-or more real should I say. It never seems like anyone else has these issues or if they do, they just never speak of them. Granted I have never posted a full photo of myself, only a partial one but even with that no one seemed to flinch. Maybe it's just me, I don't know. Whatever- so t2 doesn't have dark hair and she looks short... or that afunt does have dark hair and wears glasses-not that any of that is strange at all- I'm short and I would have wrote about the subject today but I couldn't stop thinking, blowing and sneezing, long enough to. I wear glasses sometimes too... whatever.

Anyway I'm feeling better tonight but today sucked. I don't know what's going on because I swear I haven't been sick in years. I don't get sick. It's probably stress. Damn stress, it just creeps up on you and kicks you in the ass. Maybe tomorrow I'll get to wake up to a couple inches of snow- oh joy.

Just 21 more days and the days start to get longer again... I'll wait for that.

Not today

Attention: There will be no sexy woman posted today. I need a break.

Saltines and coffee

Last Monday I came home early from work and ended up flat on my back on the couch with a blanket; I stayed there from 1-9. I didn't choose that position on purpose, my body demanded it. I think I was experiencing a combination of the stomach flu and just plain physical exhaustion. When C.Love came home and found me moaning and groaning and uncharacteristically weak, she immediately asked me what I needed and all I could mutter was saltines, chicken soup and ginger ale. All three for my stomach, but more so for my soul. Saltines and ginger ale are just as good of a combination as peanut butter and jelly, buffalo wings and beer or oreos and milk and all but the wings and beer remind me of childhood which always makes me feel better. It was all I ate all night- that and some chicken soup. It took me a good portion of the week to feel better, I didn't drink alcohol all week and my coffee in the morning was never as tasty as it usually is. Whenever I feel like I don't want beer or coffee, I know something's wrong.

Last night we went to dinner with some friends and today I found myself too tired and hungover to get out of bed much before noon, wanting to skip the coffee until 4:30 in the afternoon and I'll probably be ready for bed by eight. I hate this feeling; I hate feeling sick, tired, unmotivated and lethargic. Last week was acceptible because I had some sort of 24 hour bug but today it's simply because I drank too much last night. I only had 3 beers and three glasses of wine but for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. I didn't sleep well at all because of the alcohol in my system so I know that's why I'm so tired today but I also know my body doesn't handle alcohol the way it used to. It sucks. Years ago, maybe even a year ago that much wouldn't have affected me but as I approach 43 in three months,I see things seem to be different. On my behalf, I do believe that with a combination of no alcohol all week, little food in my stomach all week and only a bowl of cereal in my stomach yesterday contributed to my demise but I still don't like it. Last Thursday, the week before Thanksgiving I went out with my drinking buddy (we'll call him Matt) and drank way too much also, felt totally sick the next day at work and hated every minute of it. That night I did drink too much, but come on now, he's my drinking buddy for a reason! I probably had four too many beers-whatever.

So here I sit at 5:30 in the evening with a pack of saltines (again) and coffee. The saltines because I love them and I'm hungry and the coffee because I find coffee comforting and I'm tired as hell. At least I didn't ended up in my own bed and had tons o fun before the lights went out...

Thanksgiving Day 2006

Went for a run today- after coffee, fried eggs and bacon and a taste of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Turkey's in the oven, dishes are done and stomach is ready. On my run I was thinking about where I would like to be next year for Thanksgiving and I came up with two options: The first was to be able to take Friday off so I have a 4 day weekend and head up to California to visit C. Love's brother and either have dinner at home or I'd be cool with heading out to a restaurant on the water somewhere. Option two is to head to Maine to be with C. Love's parents. (because Maine is great in the fall) Then of course there's option three, which is to stay here but be living in a totally new home with a huge kitchen to cook the feast in. I'd take any option.

This year we decided to keep it quiet and simple: just the two of us. No invites, no strange food- just the turkey and sides. And wine, can't forget the wine. Anyway, besides being thankful for all that I am, today I would like to add being thankful for getting over a very mild case of the stomach flu that I had two days ago. Man, that came out of the blue, knocked me off my feet and wiped out any desire for a huge meal, or any food at all for that matter. I was freaking out that I wouldn't be able to eat today but thankfully that's not so. I'm actually starving at this very moment.

I hope you all enjoy your day or enjoyed your day and or 'survived' the day. I guess it's time to bring on Christmas... but first I got to make my stuffing. Catch you all on the flip side. Cheers!

Thanksgiving 101

I've been sensing a lot of unhappiness out there lately, not only in the blogging world but in my own world as well. I’m in no way saying life has to always be ‘fun’ or ‘happy’; there are certainly times when we all need some time to vent our frustrations, complain about the life we’ve been delt or sit and wallow in our misfortunes. But as we know, none of that behavior seems to get us anywhere except maybe to the fridge for a beer or to the cabinet for some sweets. Every so often we are forced to face our challenges. We may need to climb that wall that was put right in front of us or as I like to say- ride out the wave, it’s all about surfing.

Last week or even last month, was a tough one for lots of people out there. For starters, my bud out there in London is struggling with life so much she has decided to cut herself off from the world. Sounds drastic I know but I think she just feels the needs to be by herself and work it out- whatever ‘it’ is. I’m sad because she is hurting so much and I hope she’s ok- I really do. On the other side of the world my friend is dealing with a health complication. Thankfully it is an illness that can be healed but it’s very hard to struggle with feeling sick; we feel less than and weak and tired- not what’s really authentically us. She’s such a strong woman and I know she will emerge from this period of her life stronger- mentally and physically than ever before, but it sucks going through it. I’m sorry she had to spend time in a hospital too; it’s so lonely and disgusting there. Elsewhere people are dealing with love or lack of it. Break-ups suck, so does dating- especially if you’re a gay woman. We try to be all tough and strong and act like we don’t really need to need. We try to make ourselves believe we don’t need anyone else to make us happy. It’s her loss or it’s his loss. I feel badly for people that don’t have someone else to love- a partner in life. When you have healthy love there is nothing better in the world and I wish that for all who desire it. Sure, the single life can be glamorous but it can also be very lonely and depressing. I’m sorry for anyone who is lonely and depressed because they have love to give and no one to give it to. There are others out there dealing with sucky relationships, the deterioration of a relationship, boring or stressful lives, unhappy kids, troubled kids, or just plain feeling miserable for whatever reason. I’m sorry to all of that and I’m sorry you have to feel it-whoever you are.

Since Thursday is Thanksgiving I thought I would dedicate the coming week to being thankful for all I have instead of talking, complaining, crying, or arguing about what I don’t. It’s hard to do this; it’s hard to switch our minds to thinking about what we like instead of what we don’t. We’re so damn programmed it’s scary. One thing I find very easy to appreciate is my parents. I get a pit in my stomach whenever I hear about people not having parents. I know in some cases they may be better off because of it or maybe ok with it for whatever reason, but since my family life was and is so tight, I can’t help but feel sorry for them. I’m sorry if you hate them, if they are ill, if they are gone, if they are mean, if they are mentally challenged, if they are weak, if they are “never there” or if they just refuse to love. I’m so thankful my parents taught me how to love, they taught by example and I soaked it up like a little sponge. I’m thankful they are both alive and healthy. I know how lucky I am and when I think about that, nothing else matters.

I hope you all can find something to be thankful for this week, even if it's as small as your laptop.

Sexy woman #8

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Giata De Laurentis is a hot chef. She makes the list because she's held that description for a couple years now and she's only getting hotter. She always seems to wear the perfect clothing, has a fabulous body and definately isn't afraid to show some cleavage. She knows how to work the knife and talks about the food she's handling like... well, you know. The Food Network is fortunate to have her and I'm just thankful I get to look at her every Saturday morning. Mmmm, mmmm good... hottness in the kitchen, there's nothing better.

Sexy woman #7

The "Mercury Girl" is hot! I know this pick is a bit strange but I can't seem to take my eyes off the commercial whenever the ad comes on. Jill Wagner is her name and she's been around for a couple of years. I'm not sure what it is about her, she's pretty normal looking. Maybe it's the way she says "put Mercury on your list"... Ok, I will!

seeing what's out there

I'm taking afunt's lead:

Leno or Letterman

Air conditioning or a cool breeze from an open window

Pizza or tacos

Red or White

Fast or slow

Loud or soft

R.E.M. or Dave Matthews Band

Pop, Country, Folk, or Hip Hop

Bad diet food and counting calories, or veggies and exercise

Dim lights or Bright lights

Driver or passenger

Femme or butch

The movies, a great dinner and drinks or a night club

Talker or listener

The Mountains or the Ocean

Perfume?

Between the lines or on the line

Straight leg or Flare

Shawn Colvin or Metallica

Morning or Evening

Fact or Fiction

What the fuck

There's been a lot of "what the hell is going on" things this week:

Breastfeeding in public?- what the fuck
When people never answer direct questions- I hate that and makes me not want to know the answer anymore
Democrats take control?- huh?
K- Fed and Britany split?- what the hell is going on with these people. I'm still stuck on why they married in the first place.
70 degrees in November?- bring it on baby, bring it on.
When people take too long to speak the truth- I don't get it, cut to the chase.
The popularity of the movie Borat- what?
The comment dude on sassyfemme's blog who chooses to have a photo of himself shirtless- ???
t2- what the hell was that?
How we got a flight to Boston at Christmas for $138.00?- it's crazy cheap
When people resfuse to use their blinkers- how the fuck am I, as another driver on the road with you, supposed to know that you intend to take a right and pull infront of me? How? BLINKERS PEOPLE, BLINKERS!! (didn't we learn this in driver's ed?)

There are times when I feel like I just want to turn my mind off. I can't stand it when things don't make sense and I have to deal. Thank god it's Friday and sanity is just around the corner.

Sexy woman #6

Kelly Rowan plays a mom on The OC. Yeah, she's another thin, beautiful blond... guilty as charged.

It was just a massage...

Ok, duh- This dude is all over the news lately because apparently there have been some shocking accusations surrounding his sexuality. Shocking? Really? Come on now, is everyone really that stupid.

Ted Haggard was the leader of the 30 million member National Association of Evangelicals; in other words he’s the head honcho to millions of other little, confused, idiots who spent most of their time vehemently condemning homosexuality. Haggard was a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage- go figure. Mike Jones is a 49 year old escort who is now claiming Haggard paid him for sex once a month for the past three years. Jones decided to come forward when he couldn’t bare to hear Haggard and the New Life Church publicly opposing same-sex marriage when he knows the dude saying it has had ‘gay sex’ with him. Not only did they have hot steamy (gay) sex but they did it while snorting methamphetamine to heighten the sexual experience. The Reverend has admitted to buying the meth and receiving a massage from Mike Jones but THAT’S ALL. Ok, whatever dude, like people honestly believe that- sure. Oh wait, he’s saying that yes, he bought the stuff but he never used it…. This is just plain funny.

Things like this drive me to the brink of insanity; religious issues aside, people like Haggard need to SHUT UP. There are two things on my mind here: one, when people are so fucking stupid and blind when it comes to homosexuality and two, when people who are gay but refuse to admit it. I have tons of patience when it comes to those who are obviously dealing with their own internal struggle with being gay but when they play both sides and oppose the gay side vocally that’s when I loose it. I am well aware that this is a huge subject but for argument sake I’d like to keep it narrowed to those gay people who feel the need to flash the straight card to try to prove it to themselves and others that they are not. We can open the floor to other arguments later.

There are so many people I know who are gay but are either too young to know it yet, too stubborn to see it, or too confused to label it as such- yet. I have a co-worker who is so obviously gay but from my understanding has a “fiancé” who he intends to marry in April. Now this dude is a decent looking African American guy with a very masculine rock solid body but if you saw him walk and heard him talk you’d think the same thing- the guy is gay but just doesn’t know it yet. Plus the guy is a dancer… come on now. That's just one example but I have many others. I guess it’s easier to list some of the things I hate instead of trying to figure them out by rambling.

1. When straight women fall for gay men. He’s GAY… I don’t get it.


2. When straight women think they can ‘get’ a gay man. Again, he’s gay, he doesn’t want to have sex with a women. Go away-


3. When I see a married couple (man, woman) and it’s obvious that they are both gay. Example: People who look and act like ‘Jack’ from Will and Grace and we’ll say… people who look like ‘Ellen’. Come on now, what are you two doing? Come out already.


4. When a woman who is wearing a bandana, riding a motorcycle, wearing work boots, talking trash, sounding like a man, looking stereotypically lesbian then mentions her husband in conversation. What?!


5. When straight people feel the need to constantly hang out with or around gay people and feel an undying need to show their “support”. Gee thanks, but it’s actually gay people to come out that we need so unless you are, go away. You can show your support on Election Day, in politics in general and in your everyday conversation. That’s where we need the “support”.


6. When everyone is “shocked” at allegations like the one with Rev. Haggard. Look at the guy!


7. When people refuse to believe someone could be gay because they are either married, having sex with the opposite sex, a feminine sexy women, a masculine man, a mom with kids, or a leader in the world. Wake up people.

I could of course go on and on about this subject and while I may come across as sounding harsh and or one sided myself, I want to stress that even if I may loose it in every once in awhile in this blogging thing, I can only wish I were more outspoken in the real world. I don't wish to 'out' anyone before they are ready, accuse someone of something that may not be correct or assume someone is gay just because they choose to look like a man or act like a woman- but come on now, if we could just cut through all the crap wouldn't it be easier?