Sunday, February 11, 2007

house rules

This particular issue has come up a lot lately so I thought I'd throw it out there to the masses to find out what the majority thinks. The issue I'm talking about is the removal of the shoes once inside someones house- that includes your own house as well. Bottom line: I think it's rude to ask someone to take off their shoes. I understand the Japanese cultural thing, that it's a custom to remove your shoes just after entering a home, but we don't live in Japan.

I've been noticing this 'taking the shoes off' thing lately with various friends and in different situations. Last night we went to my friends house for dinner and as we were getting into the car we were discussing this issue because my friend just happened to have married a Japanese woman. The dude is from the South side of Chicago and he could care less about these things but he's now hooked up with her so we weren't sure what was going to happen. I immediately said "shit I hope not because it's not so easy to take these boots off" and C.Love said, "I'm not doing it, I'll be too cold." I was thinking to myself, you can't say no if they ask you too-right? As we walked in I noticed a plethora of shoes at the doorway in a pile but we weren't forced to strip so we just continued to walk in. I then glanced down at my friends feet and then at his wife's and saw both had stocking feet. Then last week at the Superbowl party I was looking around at everyone's feet and noticed lots more stocking feet. What the fuck! no one was Japanese in this house, just a couple of guys from Chicago who are obsessed with the Bears and the Cubs.

OK, there a couple of things going on here. One is the fact that I HATE to see other people's feet without shoes. I have a hard time in the summer with the sandals but I let that go- unless the feet are big, awkward and white, then it's a NO, but Seeing people in stocking feet is like seeing them in their sweats. (and I've been holding back talking about this one because it's so strong)If you invite someone over for dinner you put normal clothes on so why the hell don't you put shoes on? It completes the outfit you know? I understand completely, taking your shoes off when you enter your house because of mud, salt, snow, or rain but you're suppose to put them back on again when company comes over! It's weird to see someone walking around in stocking feet- feels too personal or something. The other issue I have with people asking me to take off my shoes is that it's just not something you can do without notice. I mean I have good socks and bad socks; warm socks and warmer socks; socks that look better without shoes because of the pattern and socks that look better with shoes because they're just ... socks!

So my question is do you ask people to 'take them off' or don't you? What's the deal with this...

13 comments:

SassyFemme said...

We never ask house guests to take their shoes off. If they come in with mud and make a mess, then we'll clean it up after they leave. But, if someone wants to take their shoes off, then they're welcome to it. Basically, we want our friends to be comfortable in our home.

When it's just the two of us, or if we're with our very closest friends, I'm in my stocking feet, mainly because I HATE the way my feet feel in shoes. If we're having anyone other than our closest friends over, then I'll keep my shoes on. If I go to someone else's house, I'd never dream of taking my shoes off, unless they asked me to (or unless they were our best friends and we knew we could just totally kick back with them).

Maggie said...

While I never ask anyone to take their shoes off, most people do. Right now, we've got 6" of mud or clay in everyone's front yard. I'd hate for it to be ground into someone's carpet.

Trinity2 said...

I never ask house guests to take off shoes in my house because I have hardwood floors and they could slip and fall on their can, man.
In Swizterland it is customary to take off your shoes, however, they have slippers for guests to put on. It's ok if it's my sister's house and I know where those have been and that they are new. But someone elses?? Who else's feet have been in those? Also, if someone had nice, thick, plush carpet it would be ok.
But, I'm with you - not into the taking off shoes, thing - I'm sitting here in my own house - with shoes on!

Middle Girl said...

I wouldn't/don't ask people to remove their shoes. We do, in winter so we don't track salt and water all over. I would put extra rugs or towels at the door if I were expecting guests, or like sassy said, just clean up afterwards.

I am rarely without shoes. I would feel uncomfortable if I were asked to remove my shoes, particularly in the presence of casual acquaintances.

Zoe said...

We never ask anyone to remove their shoes, but people usually do. Well at least when it's wet, snowy or muddy.

We just make sure we take slippers with us if we are going to someone house and we are going to have to remove our shoes. My feet get too cold to not.

afuntanilla said...

well, i guess i'll be the loner here who says, I LOVE TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF. i rarely wear shoes in my own house, for one. I love it if i am able to go somewhere where a) i feel comfortable enough to take shoes off or b) the household wants guests to do so.
i love walking around with my socks on and such. very comfortable. hate wearing shoes inside.

I cannot be the only one, can I???

SassyFemme said...

afunt, you're not the only one. If we're alone in the house, or with family or very close friends, mine are never on!

Kelly said...

I take my shoes off as soon as I get home and either put on slippers or my Adidas sandals.

I'm more than happy to take off my shoes at someone's house if they ask and certainly if I feel comfortable enough to do so.

See, AF? You're not the only one. :)

r.d. said...

sassy- excellent.

maggie- it's a whole nother world out there in the mountains, I wouldn't even have carpets if I lived where you did.

I hate slippers t2, they give me the creeps especially if they are someone else's. Socks are fine.

Yes only daughter, yes. Everything goes out the window if there's snow and ice and crap outside.

zoe, you mean you carry slippers with you?! wow, never heard of that one. I have a hard time taking someone seriously when they have slippers on. Are they fuzzy?

afunt you just run too much so of course you're happy to take your shoes off no matter where you are and I suspect you would like others to join you-
And no you are in no way the only one- most people actually hate to wear shoes in their own house.

Hey kelly, no barefeet? how bout socks...

Zoe said...

No, they aren't fuzzy, they are fleece. Would you really imagine that I would wear fuzzy slippers? Our friends are the kind of friends were we aren't really concidered guests anymore, you know what I mean. We're passed that.

Now if I was going to someone's house who I didn't know so well, I wouldn't take slippers but I would take my shoes off if they were wet/muddy and the people had carpeting.

SheA said...

I don;t require people to take shoes off, but I always do when I go to friends houses. Unless it is a more FORMAL occasion, and in that case I keep my shoes on, and Oh BTW..GO SoX ( the RED ones)

r.d. said...

Hey shea, so you take them off even if you're not asked to? Nice to know you're a Red Sox fan- excellent.

SheA said...

yeah- I pretty much always take the shoes off....maybe its my subliminal way of paying tribute to the SoX ( red) .... went to Fenway for the first time last year, would love to go again. This year I am off to Toledo- checking out the MudHenS.