Sexy,cool, beautiful

Lately my partner and I have been very busy, her with her "life coaching" buisness and I with... well just life I guess. We haven't had too much quality time together and when that happens other things start to feel meaningless and a little off. Friday night we found ourselves a little window of time; no clients or social engagements to attend to,so we ordered some take out and sat on the couch facing each other. We talked and ate...and talked. We talk a lot. The thing that was so great about it on Friday was that in between the words and bites I was just noticing how beautiful she was. And I'm not just saying that because she's mine- she's sexy,cool, beautiful looking and I like looking at her. Looking, kissing, holding and laughing with her.

One reason I think it's been so challenging to hook up with the lesbian community is because we really don't need to. We're are so content while in each other's company nobody else compares. But as much as we enjoy each other, we'd like to gaze at other people too, every once in awhile. I guess we've just gotten to a point where we've had enough of straight people and pretty much just -each other. It's been a stuggle to literally peel ourselves off the couch and force ourselves to get out there. Luckily whenever we go out drinking is usually involved so I don't care who's around. The comfort factor we have with each other is a strong bond and it get us through tons of stuff; the fact that it's so strong I think helps us feel comfortable out there in lesbo land. As you all know, it can be quite intimidating at times.

Little moments like Friday night reinforce our relationship in a way nothing else can. Not even sex. Speaking of which, now that I think about it that's long overdue. Anyway, it's funny-funny ironic that in her coaching buisness she helps her clients get to that place of bliss, whether it be with their career, life, love or whatever. We find that moment of bliss all the time and I feel so fortunate.

Revelation

I must first apologize for my insensitivity before I move forward. I've been so consumed over this stupid blog that I didn't even mention to LAL how sorry I was to hear of her father's passing. A total stranger but none the less, feel badly for her. I commented on her "death" post but failed to offer any sympathy- rude. I'm sorry.

O.k., so I just started this "lesbian" themed blog because I'm so fed up with the "community" in Chicago. Hate the word lesbian by the way, so it's difficult to lable it as such, but right now I don't have a choice. Anyway, the Los Angeles chick and tg responded with some not so favorable comments about the LA scene. Too bad. It doesn't surprise me in the least that the women, gay or straight, living amongst the fake plastic trees tend to be a wee bit lifeless. I guess the lesbian scene in LA isn't really a good representation of most cities since authenticity in la la land seems to be lost in the fa la lameness. It was nice to hear from two Los Angeles ladies it's not all wine and roses in sunny CA. I'll take beer and pizza anyway.

If you can get yourself into the community, wherever it may be the struggle still remains. It's especially difficult for my partner and myself for a number of reasons: 1. we are a couple and have been together for a long time with no interest in bringing a third party into the mix. 2. we look "straight" to strangers- straight meaning attractive, sexy, well- dressed women. 3. we have a lot of straight friends and hang out with them-included in that, we like men. 4. shallow or not we prefer to hang out with other attractive, well dressed lesbian couples- good luck to us. 5. we belong to the Chicago Rainbow and while we have attended a number of events, we are not interested in going out with 15 other people to a knitting circle or " board game night". 6. We are thin. There are many more, but my point being the one reason we are somewhat obsessed with the L Word is because this is the closest representation of our lives- details aside.

So anyway for nine years since moving to Chicago we have been trying to break into the lesbian community and it's just recently that we actually have. Granted, our own issues may have gotten in the way, but my point is is that we haven't felt "welcomed" because of our looks. So cheers to The L Word if only for the one reason that they have represented the other side of lesbians. It's about time, now maybe we can all mingle. I started this blog because I didn't want to talk about it on my other one. Things may get a little harsh.

What not to wear

I had a day off today, Tuesday. Strange because I typically work the 8-5 Monday through Friday gig with Saturday and Sunday being my days to play. Having to do with details I will not bore you with, I need to head into work for a couple of hours on Sunday; hence the day off today. Anyway, my plan was to head out running, but it's really windy today and I'm not in the mood to fight it so I landed on the couch with the laptop. Since I just started this blog on "being a lesbian in Chicago" I thought I would try to look up some similar blogs and I came across this one that seemed somewhat normal, although I've only read the lastest post.

In in she mentions that the "L Word" is fantasy. I get that, but I don't understand it. Ever since this damn show came on the air, I've been driving myself crazy with the notion that the look of the show is not so far fetched. I know it's not reality t.v, most of the actresses are straight and the story line is traditionally lame, but the beauty of the show is intense! First of all, the fact that these women are hot, sexy and feminime and also lesbians is so refreshing. I'm so tired of being in the community in a sea filled with bad hair, no style and out-dated clothing. Is it because I live in the fucking Mid-West that the lesbians look so traditionally-lesbian? When I lived in Boston I was too young to realize there was anything actually called a gay community, but I know the other city on the East coast has it going on. Those New York lesbos know how to dress. I know that the feminine, sexy, hot lesbians are around because I have met some, but they are so few and far between that something feels a little off balance.

So my question to the lesbian in Los Angeles is what's the scene like out there? It's got to be better than Chicago, for starters I know there are more places in LA for us to hang out. Chicago has but one lousy lesbian bar. I can't stand it.

Capricorn = Booze, Boobs and Babes

So last week I went to the ever so popular "capricorn" party in Chicago. Apparently this tradition has been going on for the past 21 years, but unfortunately we just found out about it this year- story of my life. It also totally sucks that it was the finale. The women who throw this bash are selling their house and one of them is moving to Florida to finally live with her partner. It seems to me that one of the "younger, more hip lesbos needs to pick up the torch, re-light it and run like a mad woman because it would totally be a shame if this thing died.

There were hundreds of women in that house that night- all shapes, sizes and colors, and thankfully each one was a lesbian. Even though some may wish to label themselves bi-sexual, they were all women attracted to other women. And that's all that mattered. It was so refreshing to be surrounded by hundreds of lesbians, it may sound a bit scary (even to myself) but it was amazingly anything but. The crowd was oddly controlled, even as the girls raced through the house topless or preformed lap dances in the corner. Politeness was everywhere, bathroom lines were short and the sexuality... well, sexy.

My point is it's very sad and maddening that there was so many gay women there last week and there's only one lesbian bar in Chicago for them to go to. I've been "out"in Chicago for eight years now and I constantly find myself wondering where everyone is, and I'm tired of it. By everyone I mean all the "good looking" lesbians. There was every type of lesbian at that party, from the young punk to the girly girl and every look in between. But one thing for sure was there were many attractive-hot, just plain good- looking women there. Women that no more look "gay" than Portia de Rossi does.

StarGaze is the name of the lesbian bar in Andersonville. It's a very unattractive, un-inviting bar that attracts a certain type of lesbian. That's fine, I don't have to go there, but can I go somewhere else? Well, I can go over to The Closet on Broadway and sit with a bunch of men and straight people in a ...closet; the place is as big as my bathroom. Or I can go to a number of dance clubs in the city and also be surrounded by gay men and straight people posing as such.

So every year we wait for the premiere party of the L Word at T's Bar and bask in the beauty. The beautiful people all seem to come out for that. It makes sense, since the L Word has the best looking lesbians anywhere on television. If only it were real. My question is, why can't it be?